CHEESY CRUST BATMAN
by Nessqueely
Summary: This story was made to be bad. HAVE FUN READING IT. "There's enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe" -Possibly Gordon Ramsay Momoko is the newest tenant of the Sakamaki house and is one of the most colorful tenants the brothers has seen.


_Dear_ _diary,_

 _I like to think that I'm a nice person. I try to help out as much as I can, get along with people that I don't care much for. Of course, there's the occasional thought of murdering some people, but that's normal. So, what brought this on? Let me tell you._

 _Setting, okay. I'm currently in the backseat of some vehicle that's supposedly taking me to my 'new home'. I think that's a set up and they're actually taking me to an isolated location to kill me. Part of me wishes that's it, because, that's cool. I have people who hate me so much that they want to erase me from this place. The other part wishes that it's not, mostly because I don't wanna die just yet. Kill me after graduating high school, okay?_

 _Why am I going to this place? Well, my dad (and brothers) thought that it'd be cool to run away one day while I was at school. After school ended, this car with some person in front of it was parked right in front of the gates. The person said that they were waiting for me, and basically forced me to get into the car. Did the teachers do anything about it? Other than asking them why they were there, no. They did nothing._

I dropped my pen carelessly on the gutter of my diary, closed my eyes and sighed heavily. Looking back up, I gazed out the tinted windows of the car and saw the world passing by. It was quiet in the car. Usually I don't mind quiet places, but this was just super uncomfortable. I'd rather be ruthlessly murdered than sit in this silence. Slowly looking away from the window, I looked back down at the diary that laid on my lap and picked the pen back up. I wrote some more in the book.

When the car came to a stop, it was a complete stop. As in, the motor was shut off and parked. I closed my diary and placed it in my ragged book bag that I can't seem to throw away. It was an off green hand bag that for some reason reminded me of cat's vomit. Don't judge me. Anyway, after my precious was put up, I grabbed my belongings and opened the car door. _Ahk, it's too bright._ I squinted my eyes as soon asthe sun's light came into contact with me. It took a while for my eyes to get adjusted, but after 30 seconds, I was able to see again. "Sun's too damn bright." I muttered under my breath.

Going to the trunk of the car, I waited for the driver to pop the trunk open so that I could get my luggage. When it did open, I lifted the trunk hood up and drew my luggage out of the space. Setting it on the ground, I closed the hood and made way to the gates with my luggage rolling behind me. Suddenly, I remembered to thank the driver for getting me here.

Turning around, I expected the car to still be there. But, it was gone? "What the- BUT THE MOTOR DIDN'T EVEN TURN ON?" I yelled out in disbelief. What the actual Flying Dutchman was going on here? This didn't make any sense. "Wait wait wait, maybe it the car was electric? Well, the motor would still make some kinda sound. Aish, this is weird." I scratch the back of my head in irritation and confusion of the situation. The more I thought of an answer for this, um- thing, the more confused I got and literally, I could only come up with this: it was a ghost car.

Taking that thought in mind, I sighed and turned back around. "This is so weird." I grabbed my luggage and made my way gate again. When I finally got there, I let go of my bag and dropped my other belongings next to it. "GOD THAT WAS LONG. Why couldn't the driver actually stop at the gates rather than stop like, a mile from it?" I complained as my eyes and knees quickly collapsed on themselves. Okay, I exaggerated on that bit. It was more like thirty yards away, but it felt like a mile. And I wasn't really that tired, but I felt like complaining, okay? It was stupid of the driver to stop at that distance.

Knowing that I was going to have to walk some more (because I haven't even made it to the actual house yet) I let out a sound that was a mixture of annoyance and exhaustion. Well, there was a bit of laziness in there too. Who really cares about that though? Opening my eyes again, I was surprised by the sight.

It didn't look anything like I had imagined. "It's so," I tried to find the right words to describe this place, "big." The mansion was very western colonial style, with ivy climbing up on the walls, a fountain placed in the center of a circular driveway, and an intimidating aura surrounding the place. "Great place to play hide and seek with a crazy murderer. That or the perfect place to film a horror movie with supernatural scenes." I whisper to myself as I take in the building.

Getting back on my feet, I waited for the gates to open. It felt like five minutes had passed before I took matters into my own hands. Walking up to the gate, I grabbed the iron bars and shook them, to see if it was locked or anything. It rattled like the chains of a prisoner. "Okay, let's look for a different way inside." Immediately, I thought of the game Outlast and started to look for a smaller gate that lead to the mansion's main entrance. Seeing as there was no other way in, I sighed and sat in front of the gate. _If only there was another way- OH. How could I have forgotten? Just jump it._ Looking at the walls of the gate, I knew that it'd be difficult to get over it with my things in hand, so I did what any other person would do. I threw my luggage and bag over the wall first.

 _Now just gotta get over it myself._ My eyes went to the lamp posts first. Tall dark posts that hardly had any grove to climb on. Then I looked at the gate itself. There wasn't anything to really hold onto that either. Stepping away from the gate, I looked back at the wall and instantly thought of something that one of my friends had done before. _It's my only hope_. I walk far from the wall that I had chosen and when I deemed good enough, I looked at my target with fierce determination. Then, I ran.

.

Well that wasn't easy. I got up from the ground and began to dust myself off. My hair was coming out of its ponytail that I had it in earlier. I tugged the hair band out and let my hair fall down. What's the use of having it up if it was already coming down? Shaking my head a bit, I spotted my bags, got up, and inspected the damage. There surprisingly wasn't much, just a large dent and a few scratches on my luggage and nothing else. If something went wrong, I could deal with it later.

Picking the bags up, I made my way to the front entrance again. _So much walking, I'm gonna seriously die_. The distance from the gate to the doors wasn't as long as it could've been, but I wanted to complain more. When I finally got to the doors, I set my only free hand on the doorknob and twisted it. _THANK GOD IT WAS UNLOCKED_. I nearly cried from happiness. Swinging the door open, I walked inside and shut the door behind me. The first thing I noticed was obviously the stair case that was right in front of me. It had two stairs from opposite ends that merged into one. I think those kinds are called Imperial Staircases. Hanging above it was a chandelier that gave off a soft yellow glow. Then there was, well- everything else. It felt like the place was haunted by some angered ghost or something.

I wonder where the living room is. Looking around, I saw something that looked like a couch and immediately went to it. When I entered into the room where the couch was at, I kid you not, I heard angels sing, light from heaven shone on it, and God himself said, "Well done, my faithful servant. You have traveled far, and now you get to rest". And I did just that. Kicking off my shoes, I lie down and quickly went to sleep.

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 **AND THAT'S ALL FOLKS. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I promise you that not only will I (attempt to) update this story, but all of my other ones as well. ^^**

 **I don't own Diabolik Lovers. I just own this story and my character.**

 **Comment below for suggestions on who our lovely lady should meet first of the brothers! Oh, and there's gonna be a surprise waiting in this story too~ ;**

 **byeeee**


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